Stop Complicating Forgiveness..

When you make a mistake in a relationship and the other person tells you that they forgive you, then let them do just that. It is NOT their job to constantly remind you of what you did wrong, or even worse... try to justify their own ill thought and hurtful actions because of what you did to them. A person who tryuly forgives will just let go and move on if they would like to have a successful relationship with the other person... After all, God is the only one capable of RIGHTFULLY judging, as well as the only one who can ultimately forgive a person for partaking in any activities with the full knowledge that someone can possibly get hurt. And going back to that person... If they are TRULY sorry about what they've done, then they will feel the sting of the hurt that they've caused without having any reminders of it. Just because you made a mistake that may or may not have been clouded by bad judgement, does not give the other person the right to ridicule you, make you feel bad, or do things that will in turn hurt you... And you should definitely not stand for it!! You are a respectable human being who deserves to live in peace once forgiveness has been granted. Trying to make a relationship work after somebody has gotten hurt and trust has been damaged is NOT easy, but it IS definitely possible. If you say you forgive then do it and move on... But if you later find yourself making the other person pay for their mistake in any way, then let them go. It is not up to ANYBODY to punish a person for what they have done because God always finds a way to balance things out. A vicious and spiteful cycle in a relationship will NEVER lead to a "happily ever after". All this will do is cause damage to both individuals and they might even start questioning whether they really ever loved each other in the first place. Forgiveness is absolutely a trait of the strong because no weak person would be able to still see past their pain for the benefit of their relationship. At the end of the day, the message is clear... STOP COMPLICATING FORGIVENESS - if you say you are going to forgive someone, then DO IT!! Yes, this requires instilling trust in them and believing in them at a time when they should seemingly be cut off... But if you love them and want to be with them, then this is when they need you the MOST. Faith has the power to pull you through, so just keep praying :)

1H1M,
Luna Adiana

Time for a Movement

Check it, the other day I was thinking about some of these song lyrics that female artists are promotiong and I came to the conclusion that chicks need to stop saying things like "if I were a boy" and "sometimes I wish I could act like a boy". Ladies, last time I checked, it's a free country and we are able to do as we please. So if you feel like doing him how he does you and ignoring him or disregarding his feelings, by all means, do it. Or better yet, find somebody who will give you their time without all of the excuses and negotiation. Too many beautiful and intelligent women easily get caught up in the web of one man. Things like this usually occur due to reasons beyond ones knowledge. I say this because I was once in that position myself. But take a minute to think about it.. Do you really want to be with someone who you constantly have to remind of the things that you would like done? Do you want to be with someone who doesn't make you feel like you're the only one who matters at ALL times? Do you want to be with somebody who can so easily forget that a relationship takes lots of understanding and compromise and that things can't always be done their way? It ends up being a constant strain on your self esteem, confidence, and various strengths. One thing to realize is that both of the songs I quoted refer to "boys", which is very important. A REAL MAN would never even imagine being the cause of such distress for the woman that he loves. He'll love you unconditionally.. celebrate in your triumphs with you and offer support when you are feeling down. He will empower you, rather than cause you to question your strength. He will willingly, and without hesitation, remind you that you are beautiful and that he is lucky to have you in his life. So ladies, quit trying to "shape up" the male that is not doing all of these things on his own and do not think that pressuring him to do so will make the situation better. The right man will come along at the right time and it will fall into place on its own. Now I am not saying that being in a relationship isn't hard work, because it surely is. What I am saying, though, is that you shouldn't have to work so hard to get a man to want to have that type of commitment to you in the first place. Basically, we need to stop lowering our standards in order to meet the fulfillment of men. It is now their turn to raise the standards of the types of situations and relations that they would like to encounter with females. "Playing the field" gets old and too many people with good hearts and good intentions (both female AND male) get lost in the game. It's time for a movement towards relationships with substance.

1H1M,
Luna Adiana

Dear Past..

Dear Past,

It's been a long time coming. We've always had this love/hate type of relationship brewing.. but I think the time has come for us to call a truce. You've had this tricky way of holding me back from coming into my own identity. I feel like everytime I've taken one step forward, you somehow managed to pull me two steps back in your direction. Stuck in a parallel universe where I always put others first and never came out on top.. In fact, I was actually sinking to the bottom. Even though I was aware of how much things were hurting me, I didn't want to let go of what I knew for so long. I had this unshakeable comfort with the past.. I felt like I could never be surprised by something I already knew so well. It took me a very long time to change my perspective, but I finally realized that the only person who can change my fear of not moving forward is myself. It's taken a lot of courage and self-discovery, but I'm finally ready to let go of everything I once knew. The past was not created to trap you, but rather to TEACH you lessons. We are only human and we are aware that we all make mistakes.. but the only way that history is able to repeat itself is if we allow it to do so. Having said that, I am signing off on this letter with the past and leaving it on good terms. There were many decisions that I made that I wish I never would have.. but the reality of the situation is that I did and they couldn't be undone once I went through with them. Holding on to all of the pain that I brought upon myself, and onto others as well, will never give me the opportunity to grow into the person that I was destined to be. I've cried all the tears that I could possibly cry , in hopes of letting go of all of those bad feelings. Although it helped somewhat, I now know that the only way I can TRULY find my own place in the world is by leaving the past where it happened. But I wanted to thank you, Past, because I wouldn't be where I am today without the experiences I encountered during our time together. I'd still be a young and naive girl who is easily manipulated and doesn't understand the true VALUE of being strong and independent. So I'm leaving my baggage at your doorstep and hopping on the next train towards the future.. I would've gotten a place ticket but then that would've been too fast - I want to enjoy the scenery on my journey to the next chapter of my life :)

1H1M,
Luna Adiana