Dear Past..

Dear Past,

It's been a long time coming. We've always had this love/hate type of relationship brewing.. but I think the time has come for us to call a truce. You've had this tricky way of holding me back from coming into my own identity. I feel like everytime I've taken one step forward, you somehow managed to pull me two steps back in your direction. Stuck in a parallel universe where I always put others first and never came out on top.. In fact, I was actually sinking to the bottom. Even though I was aware of how much things were hurting me, I didn't want to let go of what I knew for so long. I had this unshakeable comfort with the past.. I felt like I could never be surprised by something I already knew so well. It took me a very long time to change my perspective, but I finally realized that the only person who can change my fear of not moving forward is myself. It's taken a lot of courage and self-discovery, but I'm finally ready to let go of everything I once knew. The past was not created to trap you, but rather to TEACH you lessons. We are only human and we are aware that we all make mistakes.. but the only way that history is able to repeat itself is if we allow it to do so. Having said that, I am signing off on this letter with the past and leaving it on good terms. There were many decisions that I made that I wish I never would have.. but the reality of the situation is that I did and they couldn't be undone once I went through with them. Holding on to all of the pain that I brought upon myself, and onto others as well, will never give me the opportunity to grow into the person that I was destined to be. I've cried all the tears that I could possibly cry , in hopes of letting go of all of those bad feelings. Although it helped somewhat, I now know that the only way I can TRULY find my own place in the world is by leaving the past where it happened. But I wanted to thank you, Past, because I wouldn't be where I am today without the experiences I encountered during our time together. I'd still be a young and naive girl who is easily manipulated and doesn't understand the true VALUE of being strong and independent. So I'm leaving my baggage at your doorstep and hopping on the next train towards the future.. I would've gotten a place ticket but then that would've been too fast - I want to enjoy the scenery on my journey to the next chapter of my life :)

1H1M,
Luna Adiana